On a Wing and a Prayer Card

Prayer cards, which appear to be mostly a catholic tradition, are printed to commemorate someone who has recently died. I was lucky enough to find the ‘In Memoriam’ or ‘prayer card’ of my great grandmother, Gabrielle Minne, in The Friends of the Poperings Archives’ online collection [De Vrienden van het Poperings Archief vzw (VPA)].

In Memoriam card of Gabrielle Minne, 1974

PRAY GOD FOR THE SOUL

of Mrs

GABRIELLE MINNE

Widow of Mr. Eduard LEMMENS

born in Nieuwpoort on 27 December 1891
and died in the H. Hart clinic in Ostend
on 28 December 1974

Mother is no longer … For months we have been able to follow the process of her body and although we knew that science could soften something and save time, it seems strange to have to live with an empty place on our side. Being confronted with death is immediately thinking about the past life. A big golden thread crossed Mama’s whole life: the deep care for her children. She was a mother in the full sense of the word. This is also the great task that she has told us, right through all the difficulties: having a beating heart for his followers, a willing ear for the loved ones and quietly having a word that shows concern. Mama, we will now continue your task beyond death, believing that you are the strength and the stimulant of our actions because you were always able to fold your hands to prayer in all modest minds. Our Lady of Lourdes, pray for her.

Our Lady of Lourdes, pray for her.


The LEMMENS family – MINNE,
Thank you very much.

WHOEVER BELIEVES IN ME WILL LIVE FOREVER

***

BIDT GOD VOOR DE ZIEL

van Mevrouw

GABRIELLE MINNE

Weduwe van de Heer Eduard LEMMENS

geboren te Nieuwpoort de 27 december 1891
en overleden in de H. Hartkliniek te Oostende
op 28 december 1974

Moeder is niet meer… Maandenlang hebben wij het proces van haar lichaam kunnen volgen en al wisten wij dat de wetenschap wat kon verzachten en tijd winnen, toch doet het vreemd aan met een lege plaats aan onze zijde te moeten leven. Geconfronteerd worden met de dood is meteen nadenken over het voorbije leven. Een grote gouden draad doorkruiste gans mama’s leven: de diepe zorg voor haar kinderen. Zij was moeder in de volle zin van het woord. Dit is meteen ook de grote taak die zij ons heeft voorgeleefd, dwars door alle moeilljkheden heen: een kloppend hart hebben voor de zijnen, een luisterbereid oor voor de geliefden en in alle stilte een woord overhebben dat getuigt van bekommernis.

Mama, uw taak zullen we nu over de dood heen verder zetten, gelovend dat u de kracht en de stimulans zuit zijn van ons handelen omdat ge steeds in alle bescheidenheld uw handen tot gebed wist te vouwen.

Onze Lieve Vrouw van Lourdes, bid voor haar.


De familie LEMMENS – MINNE,
danken U welgemeend.

WIE IN MIJ GELOOFT ZAL EEUWIG LEVEN

The card has also given me a nice bit of personal information I would not have otherwise known about. After showing the card to my mother, she remarked that Gabrielle was “passionate about ‘Our Lady of Lourdes'”. She used to pray to her statue at home every day and any time she had problems, so one year her daughter, Betty took her to visit Lourdes.

With street view on GoogleMaps, I was pleased to determine the exact point the above was photo was taken – at the Boulevard Rémi Sempé entrance. Another photo from the trip, seems to have been taken after ‘sampling’ the ‘holy water’.

Two ladies in front of a running tap in a wall
Sampling the ‘holy water’ at Lourdes

But perhaps my favourite photograph from the trip, one that gives me a glimpse of my great grandmother’s personality, is the one where she is drinking straight from the bottle while having what appears to be a spot of lunch.

A woman sitting on a blanket drinks from a bottle while another lady looks on
Sampling another kind of ‘holy water’

Another rewarding source of information can be found in ‘mourning cards’. A Lemmens cousin also gave me a digital copy of what appears to be an invitation to Gabrielle’s funeral. Along with details of her death, it gives the time and location of her funeral service and subsequent burial. But on the back, is a genealogical goldmine – a list of all her children, grandchildren and their spouses! Very handy, indeed.

 

Related posts:

Persistent Cruelty

In 1901, Thomas Henry WHEELEY and Ann ROGERS had been married for 23 years and had had 8 children together.  They were living on Dalkeith Street in Walsall – a row of terraced houses built alongside the Walsall Locks less than ten years before (in the early 1890s). Thomas was a ‘brown saddler’ living in “a poor locality” so life was probably not easy for the family.

Snippet of the 1901 census page
Thomas Henry Wheeley and Ann Rogers on the 1901 census

On Saturday the 20th May, 1905 – only a few years after the census was taken – the family had ‘a quarrel’. Thomas who had been out drinking, came home and argued with Ann, calling her names. Ann, in turn, threatened to throw a saucer at him and Thomas attacked her with a knife. Their 18-year-old son, George Alfred,  seeing this take place, struggled with his father and was subsequently hit on the head with some tongs [Not sure if these would be saddler tongs or coal tongs or another type). Ann had managed to escape the house during the scuffle and discovered she had been cut on the wrist.

newspaper article
Walsall Advertiser 27 May 1905 p6 c7

BEER, AND A QUARREL.

A saddler named Thomas Wheeley (53), of 91, Dalkeith Street, was charged with unlawfully wounding Ann Wheeley, his wife, with a knife, and also with violently assaulting Alfred Wheeley, his son, by hitting him on the head with a pair of tongs. -The police authorities agreed to withdraw the charges, and substitute charges of common assault only. -The story for the prosecution was that on Saturday night the man Wheeley went home under the influence of drink, and a quarrel, arose. He called his wife a bad name, and she threatened to throw a saucer at him. During the quarrel she found that she had received a wound on the wrist, and went out of the house. -The son’s evidence was to the effect that he saw his father with a knife, and struggled with him. He succeeded in getting his mother out of the house, but while he was doing so he was struck on the head with the tongs. -Dr Mackenzie-in-Thurm (house surgeon at the hospital) said he attended to the woman’s injured wrist. There was only a small punctured wound. It was not serious. -The magistrates sentenced Wheeley to 14 days’ imprisonment.  (Walsall Advertiser 27 May 1905 p6 c7)

I find it interesting that “the police authorities agreed to withdraw the charges, and substitute charges of common assault only”. Who requested the charges be withdrawn/substituted? Common assault is a lesser charge than ‘unlawfully wounding’ or ‘violently assaulting’ [source] and so appears to minimise Thomas’ actions. Was the switch to a lesser charge because: a) there was a lack of evidence of more serious injuries; b) prosecution were more likely to secure a conviction this way; or c) the general view that domestic violence was less serious?

Thomas’ two-week stint in prison for the assaults seemed to have little effect. A few weeks later, the couple were living at separate addresses – Thomas on Cannon Street and Ann at 481 Pleck Road – when Ann requested a separation order to support her and their four remaining dependent children – Sidney, Ernest, Grace Hilda and Maria (whose ages ranged from 14 to 7).

newspaper article
Walsall Advertiser 24 June 1905 p2 c5

PERSISTENT CRUELTY.

Thomas Henry Wheeley, Cannon Street, was summoned for persistent cruelty to his wife, who applied for an order against him. -Complainant stated that she had been obliged to leave her husband because of his persistent cruelty. She had been married 29 years and had eight children, four of which were depending upon her. Her husband had assaulted her several times and was always threatening her. She had had seven pair of black eyes in less than three months. -The Chairman (to defendant): How many black eyes have you given her since you were married? -Two, that’s all sir. -An order for 10s a week was eventually made.  (Walsall Advertiser 24 June 1905 p2 c5-6)

In 1895, the ‘Summary Jurisdiction (Married Women) Act’ was introduced. It allowed married women to apply to the magistrates’ courts for separation and maintenance orders if their husbands had:

i. been convicted of an aggravated assault under S.43 of the Offences Against The Persons Act 1861
ii been convicted on indictment for assault and sentenced to at least two months imprisonment or fined £5
iii. deserted them
iv. been guilty of persistent cruelty so as to make their wives leave home.
v. wilfully neglected to maintain so as to cause their wives to leave home.

(Radford, M. T. (1988) The law and domestic violence against women. PhD Thesis. University of Bradford. Available from: https://bradscholars.brad.ac.uk/handle/10454/3875 (Accessed: 13 May 2020), page 38)

Ann applied for an order of separation on the grounds of his persistent cruelty and subsequent articles definitely paint a picture of an unhappy marriage marred with ‘persistent cruelty’ and alcohol abuse.

image of coal hod for sale in 1904
A coal hod for sale in 1904 – Thomas was witnessed to have struck his wife Ann with one.

Ann told the court that her husband had ‘never treated her kindly’ and that she had had ‘seven pair of black eyes in less than three months’. Thomas denied this and claimed he had ‘only’ given her two and struck her ‘no more than three times’. Ann also claimed that Thomas had hit her on the head with a coal hod – a claim supported by their 25 year old daughter, Blanche who witnessed the incident. Blanche also confirmed that her father had ‘frequently’ given her mother black eyes. However she also said that her mother had also ‘been under the influence of drink’ but this had not been for some time since “she has not had the money”.

newspaper article
Walsall Observer, and South Staffordshire Chronicle 24 June 1905 p2 c5

SEVEN PAIRS OF BLACK EYES IN SIX MONTHS –

Thomas Wheeley, saddler, Cannon Street, was summoned by his wife, Ann Wheeley, of 481, Pleck Road, who sought to obtain a separation order on the ground of his persistent cruelty. -Complainant stated that she had been married 29 years, and of her eight children four were dependent upon her. Her husband, who was resently [sic] sent to prison for stabbing her in the wrist, had said that he had done 14 days, and he would yet do 14 years for her. He had never treated her kindly, and a few weeks ago he had struck her on the head with a coal hod. He had given her seven pairs of black eyes in less than six months. Since he came out of prison he had continually threatened what he would do to her. -She denied, in cross-examination by defendant that he had not struck her more than three times since they had been married. -In reply to a question from the Bench, defendant said he had only given his wife two black eyes, and she denied that she had been locked up for being drunk. -Blanche Marston, daughter, also spoke to her father’s ill-treatment of her mother, and said that he had frequently given her black eyes; she did not know how many. She saw him strike her with the coal hod. She admitted that her mother had been under the influence of drink, but not for some time. “She has not had the money,” she added, amid laughter. Since her father came back from gaol his language had been unbearable. -Complainant was re-called, and asked for 10s. a week. -An order was made for that amount.  (Walsall Observer, and South Staffordshire Chronicle 24 June 1905 p2 c5)

Despite the 1895 act, it’s clear that domestic violence was still not regarded as seriously as it should. Thomas’ seemingly casual, or even blasé attitude regarding the violence he actually admits to inflicting on his wife indicates that beating your wife was largely seen as ‘fine’ depending on its regularity or severity. A woman’s options were very limited and there were many reasons a wife would remain with an abusive husband – whether financial, emotional or social.

For whatever reasons, Thomas and Ann were together again by the 1911 census.

Snippet of the 1911 census page
Wheeley family on the 1911 census (130 Bridgeman Street)

I was completely unaware of the events of 1905 until recently. Thomas and Ann appeared in every census together since their marriage in 1878 (1881-1911) so I didn’t expect there to have been such a rift. We like or want to believe that the families we research lived peacefully together despite their often difficult lives. My discovery of these newspaper articles reminded me this is often not the case.

The census is only a ‘snapshot’ every ten years – it’s important to remember this. A lot can happen between these ‘snapshots’. Just as living at the same address two censuses in a row doesn’t always mean they’d actually been there all that time, a family simply living together does not always mean their lives were harmonious all that time.

This family is also featured in Wheeley Interesting and Wheeley Interesting Sequel.

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For Eva

Poor little Eva Rogers.

Not only did she die at just 3 years of age, but she was buried under the wrong name!

To be fair, this error is likely confined to the burial register – a slip up by the rector confusing the names of two sisters – but I can’t help but feel a little indignation for the wee lass.

Eva’s older sister, Ada Rogers was born in 1859 and was only 18 years old when she died in 1877.

Baptism of Ada Rogers 1859
Burial of Ada Rogers in 1877

Eva Rogers was born two years after her sister in 1861 and baptised in November at Newport, Shropshire, England.

Baptism of Eva Rogers 1861

As she was born and died between censuses, I only know of Eva’s existence due to trawling the Newport, Shropshire parish records on FindMyPast. But still, her burial did not appear in the burial records. However, there was a burial of ‘another’ Ada Rogers in 1865. I already knew Eva’s sister, Ada (who did appear on censuses) died in 1877 so who was this other Ada? At first I thought there was a transcription error but the record clearly showed ‘Ada Rogers’.

Burial of Eva Rogers (mistranscribed as Ada) 1865

Fortunately, Eva was registered under the correct name as can be seen in the GRO index.

The surname, death place and age at death match so I can surmise the rector simply had ‘a bit of a slip-up’ at the time of recording in the burial register. I feel glad that I was able to uncover the mistake and reestablish her place in the family tree.

 

 

Related posts:

Wheeley Interesting Sequel

The Perils of Divorce – a film from 1916

I previously wrote about the brief marriage between William Henry Marston and Blanche Emma Wheeley in the post, Wheeley Interesting.  I have just discovered that five years after their unhappy relationship broke down, there was a development…

Walsall Observer, and South Staffordshire Chronicle, 2 June 1906 , p3 c6

Basically, the amount of support Marston had to pay Blanche had been dropped to 7s.6d (approximately £29.46 in today’s money)  [The wording makes it unclear whether this happened in July 1901 or July 1906]. However, Marston was now complaining that he shouldn’t have to pay support to his ex-wife at all, since she was living with another man.

…It was now alleged that defendant was living with Joseph Mellor in Moat Road. -Defendant did not appear, and Sergeant Haycock stated that when he served the summons she admitted in the presence of Mellor that she was co-habiting with him, and said she should not contest the case. -Mrs. Hargreaves, of Manor Road, sister of Mellor, stated that the latter and Mrs. Marston had been living together as man and wife for three or four months…

The new relationship may have come to his attention through Blanche being heavily pregnant with her eldest son, Joseph, who was born only a month after the article appeared. He and his brother, Charles appear with their parents on the 1911 census – still living in Moat Road, Walsall.

The Meller/Marston family on the 1911 census – 135 Moat Rd, Walsall

Blanche and Joseph had 4 children (one who died as an infant) before they were finally wed in 1913. These children were recorded under the surname Marston as that was still Blanche’s legal name, but the parentage was made clear by also including the name, Mellor.  After their marriage, the couple had 4 more children, although one died when only a few months old. By 1939, all the children had dropped the ‘Marston’ from their name and used only ‘Mellor/Meller’.

Since divorce at that time was unlikely, and remarriage was illegal with a spouse still living, I presumed William must have died.  He was still alive in 1911, living with his new ‘wife’ and son, Percival William Marston, but there was no death record before 1913.

William Henry Marston with his new family on the 1911 census – 49 Charlotte St, Walsall

William & Lizzie listed themselves as married on the 1911 census but there is no trace of a marriage between them. [Intriguingly, there is a marriage in 1911 of a ‘Percy W Marston’ to a ‘Lizzie Jackson’ in Southwell district, Nottinghamshire but an appropriate person with this name can actually be traced through the censuses. Also, the surname of Percival’s mother is given as Mitchell in the birth indexes.] It turns out, William and his family left England for South Africa in June 1913!  They returned in 1919 for a few years before leaving permanently in 1921.

I don’t think it’s mere coincidence that Blanche and Joseph were married in July 1913. The expense alone meant divorce was unobtainable for the working class at this time. With Blanche’s ex-husband out of the country, they may have considered it their opportunity to finally marry (albeit illegally). The couple were still together in 1939 so I like to think Blanche did get that happy ending after all (at least for a while!).

Related posts:

A Queenly Godmother

Astrid of Sweden (1905-1935) – princess of Sweden and queen of Belgium

There was a story told by my Belgian grandmother, that she was named after Queen Astrid, who was also her godmother due to a royal tradition. I remember her telling me that as a child, she was once invited to play with the princess, who was of a similar age, but that they fought over a toy.  (My mother recalls that she even got sent home for this.) Her childhood memories of the young princess were not overly positive and it was entertaining to hear.

Unfortunately, the facts don’t quite support the story.

Queen as godmother

This tradition is true and is referred to on the Belgian Monarchy website: “Traditionally, the King and the Queen are the godfather or godmother of the seventh son or seventh daughter in a family, on condition that this succession of sons or daughters is unbroken.” (The Belgian Monarchy, 2020)

However, the honour is only bestowed upon the seventh son or daughter – Astrid Lemmens was the eighth daughter.

I did find a newspaper report that mentioned the queen becoming godmother to a LEMMENS daughter. Only this daughter was not Astrid but her older sister, Elisabeth. And the event had occurred in 1925, before my grandmother was even born (in 1926).

Le Carillon, 1925 Mar 28, p2 c1

 

A beautiful family

We announced that the Edouard Lemmens-Minne family, living on rue Polder Ste Catherine, had enriched themselves with a seventh daughter, on March 6. The eldest was born on April 12, 1913 in Nieuport. In a letter addressed to the Palace of Brussels, to the Mayor of Ostend, it says:

<The Queen accepts with pleasure to be godmother of the seventh daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Lemmens-Minne>. And further: <Our Sovereign entrusts you with the task of having Her represented at the ceremony of the baptism of the child, and asks you to express Her wishes of happiness to the parents of Her new goddaughter>.

Mr. Bourgmestre Moreaux entrusted the care to Ms. Elleboudt-Moulaert, wife of Mr. Elleboudt, our alderman for Public Works.

Une belle familie
Nous avons annonce que la famille Edouard Lemmens-Minne, habitant rue Polder Ste Catherine, s’etait enrichie d’une septieme fille, le 6 mars dernier. L’ainee naquit le 12 avril 1913 a Nieuport. Dans une lettre adressee du Palais de Bruxelles, au Bourgmestre d’Ostende, il est dit:
<La Reine accepte avec plaisir d’etre marraine de la septieme fille de M. et Mme Lemmens-Minne>. Et plus loin : <Notre Souveraine vous confie le soin de La faire representer a la ceremonie du bapteme de Penfant, et vous prie d’exprimer Ses souhaits de bonheur aux parents de Sa nouvelle filleule>.
M. le Bourgmestre Moreaux confia le soin a Mme Elleboudt-Moulaert, femme de M. Elleboudt, notre echevin des Travaux publics.

Le Carillon, 28 Mar 1925, p2 c1

This means the queen did not actually attend her goddaughter’s baptism but instead used a city councilor’s wife as her proxy (Louisa Moulaert, wife of Alphonse Elleboudt). Interestingly, Elisabeth DID meet the queen in 1931, when the royal family visited Ostende and the interaction made the local paper:

De Zeewacht, 1931 July 25, p1 c7 – p2 c1

In the meantime, an endearing act took place. The young Elisabeth Lemmens, the seventh daughter of Mr and Mrs E. Lemmens, of which through mediation of Mrs. Alph. Elleboudt, the Queen is meter, presented herself to the Queen with a flower owl and spoke as follows, while the daughter of H. Schepen Vroome handed over a flower sheaf to Princess Clementine:
Dear Meter,
How proud and happy I am, your baptized child, to be the little interpreter of the population of Ostend, to tell you how welcome you are here, you see that from side to side, and read in flower and flag and festive green, the sincere love and affection of your people. Yes, everything calls out to you, how welcome you are and how your name is praised and honored here. The beating heart of the People that you were expecting for so long now see You full of joy and offer you thanks and honors with great enthusiasm, Dear Queen.
After those words, the Queen took her godchild on her lap and kissed and asked her news of her family. Prince Leopold also took them on his lap and had a conversation with the child.

Intusschen had een aandoenlijk tooneeltje plaats. Het jonge Elisabethje Lemmens, het zevende dochtertje van M. en Mev E. Lemmens, waarvan door bemiddeling van Mev. Alph. Elleboudt, de Koningin meter is, bood zich aan de Koningin met een bloementuil en sprak als volgt, terwijl het dochtertje van H. Schepen Vroome een bloemengarve aan Prinses Clementine overhandige:
Lieve Meter,
Wat ben ik fier en gelukkig, Ik, uw doopkind, de kleine tolk der Oostendsche bevolking te zijn, om U te zeggen hoe welkom gij hier zijt, dat ziet gij t’allen kant, en leest in bloem en vlag en feestelijk groen, de oprechte liefde en verkleefdheid van uw Volk. Ja, alles roept U toe, hoe welkom gij zijt en hoe uw naam hier wordt geprezen en vereerd. Het kloppend hart van ‘t Volk dat U zoolang verbeidde, ziet U nu vol vreugde en bied U, Geachte Koningin, met veel geestdrift zijn dank en hulde aan.
Na die woorden name de Koningin haar petekind op den schoot en kuste en vroeg haar nieuws van hare familie. Prins Leopold nam ze ook op gijnen schoot en voerde een gesprek met het kindje.

De Zeewacht, 25 July 1931, p1 c7 – p2 c1

Queen Astrid was not queen at the time

Not only was Astrid the wrong daughter, the other Astrid was the wrong queen. Upon marrying Prince Leopold, the young Swedish princess was ‘enthusiastically adopted by the Belgians’ and ‘widely loved for her beauty, charm and simplicity’.  But Astrid only became queen in 1934 when her husband’s father, King Albert died. Sadly, she died the following year in an automobile accident in Switzerland [source].

The queen referred to in the above articles would have actually been, Elisabeth, queen of King Albert. It makes sense that Elisabeth LEMMENS was named after her royal godmother.

However, my grandmother’s story still has some merit due to being born within a few days of Leopold and Astrid’s marriage. The royal couple married civilly in Stockholm on 4 November 1926 and religiously in Brussels on 10 November 1926 – my grandmother was born 14 November 1926. Considering, the Lemmens family appeared to be strong royal supporters, it is extremely likely that they named her daughter after the princess in honour of this national occasion. So, it appears Astrid LEMMENS was named after ‘the queen’ – she just wasn’t queen at the time.

Argued with a princess

I doubt I’ll ever find out if this part of the story is true. Astrid and Leopold did have a daughter in 1927, Princess Josephine-Charlotte and so would have been around my grandmother’s age. If the story is true, this would be the princess referred to.

But why would she be invited to tea? Especially since she wasn’t even a god child. If there’s any truth to the story, the answer may lie in her father, Eduard Lemmens’ service to the community [to be expanded upon in a future post].

I’m not ready to dismiss the story completely. The memory seemed quite vivid to my grandmother so it’s possible we simply misinterpreted what she said.  Unfortunately, Astrid LEMMENS is no longer around to set us straight. If only I’d looked into this sooner.

 

 

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